My Greatest Fear

Every now and then my greatest fear will pop into my head, and usually it is when I feel the most protected and loved, during church. I don’t speak of it often because I feel like if I do it makes it greater and more likely to happen. So here it goes. 

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Stephen FowlerComment
A shift in the atmosphere

There is a shift in the atmosphere right before Ev starts to have a seizure. I can sense one about to start. Whatever I am doing fades into the background, I take note of where the boys are and if they are safe, glance at the clock so I can start timing, all while making my way to Ev in a matter of seconds to be with her as long as she needs.

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How does she know?

When we were down in Florida, I was asked a question by two separate people that I look up to and admire deeply - “How do you know what she knows? How do you know Evelyn understands all that you say to her?” To be honest, I didn’t know how to answer that question at first because it never crossed my mind to think otherwise, and then it hit me (at 5:30 in the morning after very little sleep), that before Rett officially came into our lives, Evelyn knew it all.

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Stephen Fowler